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[Snape has a ghostly visitor today and is conversing with him. He isn't aware that he is being recorded. Or that he's the only one who can see Dumbledore.]

I know it was necessary but it was not you who had to live with the aftermath. Nor did you arrive here to continue to endure it.

[A pause.]

The boy did as he needed to.

[Another pause then Snape's voice turns to a snarl.]

You could have picked a better man.

[One more pause before he speaks again.]

It would seem that this device has turned on to a private conversation. I hope you enjoy what you heard. You will be hearing no more of it.

[The connection ends.]

Date: 2011-12-19 12:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] feorgeous.livejournal.com
Oh, no. Don't mind us, do continue.

Date: 2011-12-19 02:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alwaystreasured.livejournal.com
It was a private discussion, Mr. Weasley.

Date: 2011-12-20 07:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] feorgeous.livejournal.com
Naturally, naturally - between yourself and a rather fascinating wall, it seems?

Date: 2011-12-20 07:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alwaystreasured.livejournal.com
[A very drawn out sigh.]

The Headmaster would like to inform you that he really doesn't fancy himself to be a wall.

[Why did HE have to deliver that stupid message?]

Voice

Date: 2011-12-19 03:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alwaysadoe.livejournal.com
Severus...are you all right?

Voice

Date: 2011-12-19 03:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alwaystreasured.livejournal.com
Just a ghost of the past.

Voice

Date: 2011-12-19 05:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alwaysadoe.livejournal.com
[She's guessing but based on what he's told her, what she just saw and the conversation she had with Minerva, she thinks it's a good guess.]

Dumbledore?

Voice

Date: 2011-12-19 05:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alwaysadoe.livejournal.com
[She pauses for a good long moment.]

I suppose that would be more awkward then if he were to visit someone else.

Voice

Date: 2011-12-19 07:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alwaystreasured.livejournal.com
I was not prepared for this...discussion.

[With the man he had to kill.]

Voice

Date: 2011-12-20 06:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alwaysadoe.livejournal.com
I'm not sure that's a discussion anyone would be prepared for.

Voice

Date: 2011-12-21 07:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alwaystreasured.livejournal.com
That would be accurate.

Voice

Date: 2011-12-21 11:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alwaysadoe.livejournal.com
You're aware that Minerva is here?

Voice

Date: 2011-12-22 10:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alwaysadoe.livejournal.com
[She sighs. It's like pulling teeth with Severus. It almost always has been.]

Have you spoken to her? I know last I spoke to her it was her intention to contact you.

Voice

Date: 2011-12-23 08:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alwaystreasured.livejournal.com
The conversations have not gone well.

Voice

Date: 2011-12-27 03:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alwaysadoe.livejournal.com
I hadn't expected they would. It doesn't sound as if you had either.

[She pauses a moment.] I did tell her what you'd told me about your orders and that I believe you. Whether she will or not is another matter.

Voice

Date: 2011-12-27 03:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alwaystreasured.livejournal.com
It is for her to decide. I will accept whatever happens.

Voice

Date: 2011-12-27 03:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alwaysadoe.livejournal.com
[Lily is quiet for a moment.]

Why not? You made mistakes, Severus but do you think you deserve to pay for them forever?

Voice

Date: 2011-12-27 04:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alwaystreasured.livejournal.com
[Silence because yes...yes he does think that.]

Voice

Date: 2011-12-28 01:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alwaysadoe.livejournal.com
Then why did you go with him in the first place? I used to think it was about power but you've got that now and it clearly wasn't worth it. You wouldn't beat yourself up this way if it was.

[Her tone is a bit confrontational. She wants to know. She's probably wanted to ask this question from the moment he joined up.]

Voice

Date: 2011-12-28 04:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alwaystreasured.livejournal.com
[The longest moment of silence ever.]

I was trying to impress you.

Voice

Date: 2011-12-28 04:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alwaysadoe.livejournal.com
[Have an exceedingly long moment of silence in return. She's a bit flabbergasted; give her a moment. Her voice is softer, less confrontational. It's difficult to stay mad at someone who says something like that.]

Severus...how could you...you knew how I felt. How could you have ever thought that would impress me?

Voice

Date: 2011-12-28 08:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alwaystreasured.livejournal.com
To know the Dark Arts is to know how to defeat them.

Voice

Date: 2011-12-30 02:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alwaysadoe.livejournal.com
You never had to impress me, Severus. You were my friend. That's all I ever wanted you to be. [She sighs a little because there's a ring of truth to what Severus is saying and yes, she can see him doing something as ridiculous as that to impress her.]

What was your plan? What were you going to do when you'd been commanded to kill one of us? What did you do when you were commanded to kill one of us?

Voice

Date: 2011-12-30 11:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alwaystreasured.livejournal.com
Lily, when I joined that was never a part of it. It was a group I could be a part of. And then when I no longer had you, they were the only ones that would talk to me. Accept me.

I lost everything. None of it mattered.

Voice

Date: 2012-01-01 08:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alwaysadoe.livejournal.com
You will not blame me for that, Severus. You were cruel to me. After all the time I'd defended you to people. You were cruel. What else was I supposed to do except think that maybe all of that time I'd been wrong about you and they were right?

Voice

Date: 2012-01-01 09:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alwaystreasured.livejournal.com
I've never blamed you for anything in the world, Lily. Never.

Voice

Date: 2012-01-01 11:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alwaysadoe.livejournal.com
[That takes all of the steam out of her and despite the fact that Severus can't see her, Lily buries her face in her hands. It is several moments before she says anything.]

Sometimes I wish we could start over from when we were children.

[Though the only thing she would change would be who their secret keeper had been. Perhaps she would have slapped Severus when he called her a mudblood rather than disowning him. There are big things like that you can't take back but years later, with a different perspective, one realises they might have gotten by with a smaller reaction.]

Voice

Date: 2012-01-02 01:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alwaystreasured.livejournal.com
You are not the only one.

[He thinks about it constantly. All the things he would have done differently. The things he would have said, would have never said. Every single day.]

Voice

Date: 2012-01-02 02:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alwaysadoe.livejournal.com
I wouldn't have changed much. With few exceptions, I loved my life and my choices put me there.

[She feels like it's only fair he knows. Lily tries to be very aware of giving Severus 'false' hope.]

Voice

Date: 2012-01-02 07:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alwaystreasured.livejournal.com
I know. [It's a fact he accepted and would never ask her to change for any reason.]

Voice

Date: 2012-01-02 08:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alwaysadoe.livejournal.com
I'm sorry I got angry.

[And then a pause, her voice still strained.]

I'll talk to you later, Sev.

[She wants him to know she's not still angry but she doesn't know exactly how to handle everything she learned and he said in this new conversation.]

Date: 2011-12-19 02:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anotherbiscuit.livejournal.com
Was that--?

[ Her voice is lacking as much of the anger and bitterness as she can omit from it. Why does he get to talk to him? Why, of all people--?

No, if Minerva is going to get any answers (and at this point, answers are all she can have) then she must be something of an adult about this. She must trust in Lily's belief and she has to stop being so emotional over it all. He's gone, and while answers won't bring him back, they couldn't make things any worse than they already are.

At best, perhaps she'd regain a colleague.
]

Date: 2011-12-20 02:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alwaystreasured.livejournal.com
The Headmaster.

[There is little need to say who. She knows very well who he means.]
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